lovelyhaitian

I would like to share my thoughts with you.

Do Men Lose Respect for Women on First Date Sex?

firstdatesex

At some point during Steve Harvey’s “reign of terror,” there was an intense debate on the politics of when a woman should feel comfortable enough to sleep with a man of her choosing. The rhetoric at that time period stated a woman should enforce a 90-day rule in order to not lose the respect of the man she wanted to sleep with. The rule was also suggested to allow a woman time to properly assess whether the man in question actually liked her for her, or just liked her for sex. I was a relatively young lad at the time thinking to myself, “do mean really disrespect women if they sleep with them on the first date?” The short answer, per usual, is it depends on the man in question, but it bears writing that I have never actually seen this line of thinking in action.

In my personal conversations with men sleeping with women after a first date, I haven’t really heard anything negative.  Sleeping together quickly doesn’t cancel out the chance for a relationship, her “worth” as a woman hasn’t been affected in a negative manner, and it hardly ever amounts to anything more than, “the date was great so we ended up having sex afterward.” Because I’ve seen that side of this particular situation so frequently it really hadn’t dawned on me that men felt the opposite way until I got a little older. So let’s address that.

Men who judge women for having sex with them on the first date are allowed to do so, although I’m not sure how they reconcile having less respect for a woman they chose to sleep with on a first date when they were active participants. For women, I’d imagine it’s a bit hard to tell when those are the men they’re choosing to sleep with (which may lend credence to Steve Harvey’s much maligned/celebrated plan to wait and see).  In any event, I’m of the opinion a man judging a woman’s ability to make an adult decision based on the timeliness of sex, likely has his own issues regarding either sex or women’s sexuality. That might seem like a stretch, but when you consider the fact a man in this situation is essentially placing the blame solely on the woman and sees her as “less than” while not penalizing himself for doing the same, it doesn’t exactly speak highly of him. Women ought to be more cognizant of situations like that, but given the patriarchal society we live in, unfortunately, too many women will place the blame on themselves as well.

Switching gears a bit, I’d like to provide another perspective on this situation too. Over the course of my years on this Earth, I’ve heard a number of women assume that the reason a man didn’t want to date them after they had sex on the first date is because he no longer respected them. Being on the other side of that conversation as well, I can say the answer to that perception is a tad bit more varied than women would like to believe. In some cases, it isn’t really a problem of sleeping with a woman on the first date, rather the sex was weak so he simply opted not to further engage in the relationship anymore. In other cases, I’ve heard men say there were interested in a woman but the situation (as often happens in dating) just fell apart and never grew into anything. I say that to say there are times where women might attribute early sex as the reason why a man no longer wanted to date them when in reality it was something else entirely.

Suffice it to say there are men out there who no longer respect women after they have sex with them on the first date. There are also men out there who have loved and married women they slept with on the first date. There isn’t a universal answer on this topic. Chances are, if a man is penalizing a woman for having sex on the first date, he probably has a deeper issue which likely has nothing to do with women in general and everything to do with the society he grew up in and how thinks the actions of women should be dictated. In some cases, lack of respect after sex on the first date may not be why the relationship never matured. There were other factors, but that just happened to be the easiest one to point to.

– See more at: http://madamenoire.com/447533/first-date-sex/#sthash.IE6fOaeS.dpuf

 

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Don’t Be Used By Your Man!

menwhouseyou

YOU ARE BEING USED

When he drops you off at work everyday and takes your car, you are being used.

When within 3 months of meeting he moves into YOUR home, you’re being used.

When he borrows money from you and never pays it back, you’re being used.

When he lives in your house and doesn’t pay any bills, you’re being used.

When he cheats on you and you know about it, you are being used.

Ladies, you should never let anyone use you. You can do bad all by yourself. When you know better, you do better. You are too great of a person to let someone, anyone, walk all over you like a doormat and use you.

By Anthony’s Words of Wisdom

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RESENTMENT IS CAUSING PROBLEMS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

Resentment can be a major cause of relationship breakdown. When one partner begins to resent something the other has done or caused, the feelings can fester and begin to show up in the relationship in other ways.

There are people who resent their partners for making them settle down to family life before they were ready. Some people feel resentment for feeling as though they’re stuck in a job they hate due to financial pressures.

Some women may resent having to give up lucrative careers for the sake of family life. Others may resent a particular way their partner treats them or acts around other people.

Resentment is a general feeling of blame for another person. It can also be a way for some people to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions and choices.

Unfortunately, resentment is the kind of feeling that can remain for years, causing little irritating arguments, smart remarks or hurtful treatment of the people around you.

The most important step in healing any feelings of resentment is to accept ownership and responsibility for your own actions and choices. If your partner is the one feeling resentful, then discuss what’s bothering him or her and ask for openness and honesty about those feelings.

Resenting another person for something that’s bothering you is pointless. You’re the person who allowed the situation to progress. You’re also the person who continued with life after the event, without addressing the problem you’re feeling badly about.

These were your choices at that time, however, you can also make the choice to do something more positive about it right now.

If you resent your partner for holding you back or tying you down or otherwise controlling your life-path in some way, ask yourself what you did to protect your own goals and dreams. If you’re currently resentful about not having them, chances are you did nothing about it, so you didn’t take responsibility for your actions.

Resenting your partner is an unhealthy way to run a relationship. Think about some of the things you’re grateful to your partner for and let go of those negative emotions because no matter what you might feel your partner has done or said, always remember that you are responsible for your own choices so make the choice of doing something about it now.

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12 Things A Woman Wants and Needs from A Man!

12 THINGS EVERY WOMAN WANTS AND NEEDS FROM A GOOD MAN.

Every woman has her preferences when it comes to the physical aspect of a man like his height, color of his skin, tall, short and things like these but when it comes to what is on the inside, there are 12 very important things that a good woman would definitely want in a good man. If these 12 are not on your list, you need to add them.

When you can get these 12 from your man, you can truly relax and enjoy your relationship. There are more but for this article I am only giving 12. They are……….
 

  • She wants and needs a man that is stable.
     

  • She wants and needs a man that is a gentleman.
     

  • She wants and needs a man that takes responsibility.
     

  • She wants and needs a man that gives her compliments.
     

  • She wants and needs a man that is organized.
     

  • She wants and needs a man that is thoughtful.
     

  • She wants and needs a man that has an open mind.
     

  • She wants and needs a man that can hold an intelligent conversation.
     

  • She wants and needs a man that can stimulate her mind.
     

  • She wants and needs a man that can protect her.
     

  • She wants and needs a man that has the ability to provide for her.
     

  • She wants and needs a man that does things without her asking him.

So many future problems in the relationship would not even be an issue if you have a man in your life that has these 12 things as part of his character and personality.

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Forgiveness allows us to see everyone in our lives as a teacher… Family members, spouses, friends, bosses, etc… everyone is brought into our lives to teach us more about ourselves. Thanking them for being a part of our journey and teaching us lessons that we now no longer need to learn is an incredible step in expanding our consciousness.

This same philosophy applies to our negative, failed relationships too. Once you truly learn the lesson behind why a negative relationship came into your life, you will then no longer attract situations and future relationships that attempt to teach you the same lesson. You get to graduate and grow so you no longer keep repeating the same unpleasant experience over and over again.

By Woman KNOW Thyself

 

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Why Get Married If You Know It is not For You?

Ladies be very strong and follow your instincts. If you feel for a second marriage is not your cup of tea then do not get married! Most women often fall for the hype of getting proposed to and engaged. When the special day arrives most women have second thoughts. But women ignore it and get married anyway with regrets later in the marriage. Do not get married to please your family or for fear of being alone. Marriage can be lonely, draining, and uneventful. Happy single women have more fun! http://www.tressugar.com/Why-Marriage-Isnt-Everyone-34873155

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What Is The Secret To Making A Man Fall In Love With You?

What Is The Secret To Making A Man Fall In Love With You?

Ladies I am happy to inform you that there is no secret or formula to making a man fall in love with you. Focus on loving you that is all you can do. If a man cannot accept you for you let him go and move forward. Never conform to get your man. It is ok to be single and live on your own. You will see how freeing it is to be yourself. When you get to the point of being comfortable in your own skin then you will easily be able to make better choices in the men you decide to date or marry.

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